E x | I s t

1. Akoasma

2. Down Spiral Depersonification

Swirling down this usurping vortex
Into the deepest realms of all
I have lost the path – it is senseless
To resist its agonizing call

Reaching…Reaching for the beginning

Escaping from pain screaming memories
Where no remedies ever helped me out
I am falling deeper into what truly is
The oppressed sides of myself screaming out loud

This back breaking pain is deafening my ears
A thousand thunders inside of my head
I am devoured by this emotional morass
These unbearable screams – will I be dead?

Words unspoken – like deafening menaces -
Reverberating prophecies of destruction
Saturating this prosperous darkness
which comes over me like a cureless infection

Plunged into my life-threatening illness
Self devouring suffocating screams
Assuming the shape of a continuous flow of darkness
The essence of Insanity’s bloodstream

NO! NO! Leave me - leave me alone!


Plunged into my life-threatening illness
Self devouring suffocating screams

3. Darkness Blazing in the Flame of Fire

I know this place I am right now
Little comfort it gave me throughout time
Something I encountered there deep inside
Shining so bright, burning like fire

The words it spoke, like blazing flames
Burning the last resistance of my withering stronghold
Unveiling the doors, into my darkness it came
Letting arise my shadows by calling their names

Shadows reveal:
I am your disgrace, torturing your soul
Keeping you away from everyone

And I am what you feel while willing to end their lives
Leaving you alone with all your rage

We are everything that you try to escape
Ruining your life and all that is left

We are - the darkness, blazing in the flame of fire

Fire – makes me see my unhopeful fight
Fire – shadows haunt through my mind’s night
Fire – taking away my breath
Fire – embrace me in the name of death
Fire – gently kissing my scarred skin
Fire – unveiling all of my sins
Fire – taking away my breath
Fire – Darkness – Death

We are - the darkness, blazing in the flame of fire

We are your innermost pain, the bale, the torment, all in your name
Eating you alive from within

We are every pulsating heart-beat pounding inside of your head,
which reminds you of still being here

We are everything that you try to escape
Ruining your life and all that is left

Oh I am damned forever,
Not able to leave them behind
Oh I am damned forever
I and delusion eternally combined

4. Torn Observer

A glance to starve in eternity
The schizophrenic act of being
I feel the other side is restless

Torn – Observer – The guilt

I dreamed of breathing out my life forever into the endless blackened night sky...

5. Mirror Mind Reality

Hold still! We mean you no harm!
We will take what is rightfully ours!
Behold us! The manifold contagious swarm!
We will assume control of all your powers!

The black foe that infiltrates my innermost
Swarm-like infesting even the smallest of my hideouts
Forced to inhale this poisonous mixture of my darkest parasites
Violently spreading – like storm clouds they carry destruction within

Mirror Mind Reality!

Scoffingly they reflect my desperate faces
As they manifest before my death-drunken eyes
Distorted impressions that drive into madness
Myself, the tempter, in blackened disguise

We will force you down!

Mirror Mind Reality – there is no cure!

Subject to this life force obscure
Losing myself in countless faces
Mirror Mind Reality – there is no fucking cure
Hearing Insanity’s call from my darkest place(s)

Is this the end of all I that I know,
Surrounded, extradited, drowning in woe,
All these shadows that are a part of me
Rip apart my mind as they emerge out of this demonic sea

Slave to the darkness in me
Mirror Mind Reality – there is no fucking cure
Hearing Insanity’s call from my darkest place

6. Der Blick hinaus

Ein ängstlicher Blick hinaus in die mich zerfressende Wahrheit
Aus dem Fenster meiner eigenen Verdammnis
Fremdgesteuerte Bewegungen im Angesicht des Wahnsinns
Der Verlust – die Tragik – das gestrandete Ich


Wie kann es sein, dass ich hier stehe?
Sklave von Krankheit, Opfer meiner zerrissenen Seele
Ein passiver Beobachter und doch im Bann der fremden Gewalt
Der Willkür ausgeliefert, gezwungen ein Zeuge von abscheulich‘ Zerfall

Das Fenster ins Leben,
Gitter geschmiedet aus grenzenloser Tobsucht
Sie zähmen mein Schieben
gegen diese ruchlos‘ schwarze Dämonenzucht
....verdammte Dämonenzucht

Sie jagen, sie töten, sie morden,
sie lassen nichts zurück
Der Wahnsinn, das Toben, die Horden,
zerreißen den Verstand Stück für Stück

Sie zerren, sie stechen, sie drohen,
sie schreien wie verrückt
Der Wahnsinn und das verdammte das Toben,
zerreißen den Verstand Stück für Stück

So verkümmere ich hinter lebendigen Mauerwerken
Hineingezwungen in die Rolle des Nichts
Der Protagonist - Teufel, die im Dunkel lauern,
die seelenlos das Sein zerstören, bis du für immer vergehst!

Der Blick hinaus...

Ich wende ihn ab – den Blick, der meine Schande offenbart
Geschändetes Wesen, geistig entstellte Abart
Der Blick, der tief in mich sieht und doch im Nichts vergeht
Im zerfurchten Angesicht meines Lebens kein Wort von Erlösung steht!

7. Descend Direction Void

Finally controlling every piece of mind and flesh
They drive me into utter nothingness
Into the dungeons they used to call their home
which now will be my final doom

Soulless hunters - origin unknown
Entities of the alter side
I frown upon your new throne

I run and run, I cannot hide
The deeper I go, the less I care for this life
...the less i care

Their poisonous breath like death in my neck
I haste down their stairs that glow in shining-black
Fleeing from what was always a part of me
Leaving this life behind, forced to make way for the breed

The eye of the vortex keeps crushing down on me
Into apathy I descend, I will not succeed

I rather die than to feel this pain
All my efforts – everything in vain
My emotions turn to grey
I will forever fade away
...fade away

Further and further down it goes
I feel them pushing
I lost control of everything
Driven into the void…

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