The River Drawing Down The Sun 1. A Close Study The mourners bow their heads But I am not a part Of their flow in the evening rain Despite how hard I try I'm left just to be Lonely and afraid My sober thoughts are there I have kept them away, A silence through the glass It's colder when you're here Your vanity makes me bleed Delusions never pass Your silence helps me pull away I push you further from my thoughts You may be pleased with how I feel But a friend is all I sought The days just blend into a whole, The pale skies just seem to grow I have so much to give, More than you'll ever know My useless pulse is through My hope is given away, My trust has been misplaced As I struggle through the haze If you simply saw my face I'd find a way to stay We didn't speak at all Of how we felt, It doesn't matter now And so you're gone No one seems to want Me to be around Losing myself In nowhere, Away from your eyes But what do you care If I'm not here Just tell me why 2. If Only I try so hard to make things right I need your strength to get me through I don't think you realise Just how much that you could do I can't do right for being wrong No matter what I do, If you know better than myself Put the knowledge please to use It's not so easy on my own My smiles, they wear so thin The emptiness surrounding me I'll gladly welcome in I know this should be home I know it's not for me, I really can't break this alone If only... 3. So Down I don't want to be a burden I don't want to be alone I just seem to keep falling Through no fault of my own Soft words fall on deafened ears Echoes in my fragile shell So numb with no feelings And so unable to tell I can't see my way forward I keep slipping away, Simply trying is not enough I won't give in this way There's a light I can follow on But my way is damned, If I can't find the path ahead Won't stay till I end Let's sit here for a while I'll try to crack a smile I want you here, but I'm not sure Take my hand, will you lead? Dress my wounds, so I won't bleed I think we've been through this before When I'm so down, you're not around I now know I don't need you here My broken mind will someday find A way to hold my dearest near Who said this isn't murder? That's just how it feels to me 4. Amber In murder, would you kiss the death for me? A pallid constant stream So amber in our tastes, but dare we dream? Drink deep the sight of me So fill me, I feel your warm flesh on my skin And blindly feel my way Embracing an emptiness that pours from you A weakness I still crave Tongues that whisper on leaves that fell from you Rotting in the autumn dew Broken feelings of how you made me feel With your body cover me Heaven pours from your throat into mine I taste the sweetness from your amber 5. Alone with My Thoughts Alone with my thoughts I hide inside myself Content with my breathing Just leave me to drown An empty room, They line at my door Such ghosts at my window Please tell me what for My transient stupor And no one to care Away from it all Broken away, Your wanton smell, So eager to dream Jaded but strong What do you see? To have you close Would be almost Too much to bear, When your words are sighs Let me catch your eyes And have me there Overjoyed too long, Now that I am gone I'm lost again I'm sure I'll cope Talk to you I hope, I'm not sure when I sit here away from you Alone with my thoughts I sit here away from you Alone with my thoughts I sit here away from you I sit here away from you Alone with my thoughts 6. A Relation to Absence It's not that I don't care I simply don't know It's not that I'm not there I feel safe on my own Nowhere, nowhere... It's not that I don't see, I just choose to be blind For me that's always been No one by my side It's not that I don't feel But why get involved? There's too much that is real Will you ever be told? Will you ever be told? 7. Inside the Flood Diary I find it hard to speak my mind I guess I need encouraging To escape and maybe find A cure for my ruins I'm young enough to change my ways My future's still not set I can harbor any blame And learn from my regrets I have problems just like you I won't drink them all away I see no need to talk them through I have demons just the same To keep them in is my remedy In time I hope they'll fade It's not the way I know to feel But allow me such a grace I try to find the way to say something It's always been in vain, when I say something Could you really help me to say something Bring me close to you and say something I've told you that I'm fine Surely that's enough Why are you concerned? My diary knows it all It's healed that I confide A tomb for all I've learned 8. Broken Window Alone I awoke to the sound of the rain Can't you leave me? The constant tapping at my window pane So eager to see I watch the sky behind broken glass The colours so rusted and hued Am I transparent, alone in my haze? My thoughts are of you I turned away from your gaze And disappeared in the crowd, Your eyes sought, but couldn't find I don't want to be found Is it so hard to believe in myself? I'm just a blur, My face is blank to the outside world To avoid being hurt I only speak when I'm spoken about So empty I feel, If I'm to drown I will drown all alone It's not a big deal I turned away from your gaze And disappeared in the crowd, Your eyes sought, but couldn't find I don't want to be found